He’s Just Not That Into Her. (But look at that face! *Swoon*)

The first person I ever dated was gay.

Hi- I’m dubs., and I have a problem.

My parents have been concerned since then. I was completely in the dark about my young friend’s preferences, and they were worried I’d wind up a beard for the rest of my life.

Rest assured, my gay-dar has been updated and honed to the highest degree (it was a firmware thing- who knew?). The only problem is … I seem to have my wires crossed. My thinking goes something like this:

That boy is cute. That boy is gay … 



… I like that boy. 

You guys. I live in San Francisco. That’s like Paula Abdul living in COKE a cola town. #AllBad

The bigger problem is that the reaction of the boy goes like this:

That girl is cute. I like boys… 



… I’m gonna kiss her.

WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME!

Because of this and my environment, I’ve had to vet every potential mate with my friends. It’s a chore, but at least I know I won’t be wasting my time. Unfortunately, as I’ve grown older, I realize there are other types of RADARS that could come in handy- and I have no formal vetting in place for them!

I’m on a quest to develop these other time and heart-saving radars:

  • Doesn’t Like Black Girls-dar
  • Doesn’t Like Women Who Speak At All-dar
  • Can’t Get Over The Harvard Thing-dar
  • Doesn’t Read Books-dar
  • Can’t Deal With Being Out-Waged-dar
  • No Goals-dar
Does anyone out there have expertise? Or can share in my pain resultant from a lack there of??
#SwagLife (ha.),
~dubs.
Stay Fly!

~#TeamHellaSwag

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