|He’s Just Not That Into Her. (But look at that face! *Swoon*)|
The first person I ever dated was gay.
Hi- I’m dubs., and I have a problem.
My parents have been concerned since then. I was completely in the dark about my young friend’s preferences, and they were worried I’d wind up a beard for the rest of my life.
Rest assured, my gay-dar has been updated and honed to the highest degree (it was a firmware thing- who knew?). The only problem is … I seem to have my wires crossed. My thinking goes something like this:
That boy is cute. That boy is gay …
… I like that boy.
You guys. I live in San Francisco. That’s like Paula Abdul living in COKE a cola town. #AllBad
The bigger problem is that the reaction of the boy goes like this:
That girl is cute. I like boys…
… I’m gonna kiss her.
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME!
Because of this and my environment, I’ve had to vet every potential mate with my friends. It’s a chore, but at least I know I won’t be wasting my time. Unfortunately, as I’ve grown older, I realize there are other types of RADARS that could come in handy- and I have no formal vetting in place for them!
I’m on a quest to develop these other time and heart-saving radars:
- Doesn’t Like Black Girls-dar
- Doesn’t Like Women Who Speak At All-dar
- Can’t Get Over The Harvard Thing-dar
- Doesn’t Read Books-dar
- Can’t Deal With Being Out-Waged-dar
- No Goals-dar