So I did some kind of Myers Briggs test. It told me that I really cared about people. Super people-centric. People pleasing. Want to promote harmony amongst and be liked by people. Hated abuse of power because of the detrimental effect it has on people. Ok, ok. I get it. The thing is (and maybe this is just a part of growing up), I never realized that there were folks out there who didn’t perceive human beings as the most important factor in any decision. Fine, I live, learn, get Luvs, and all that… but one little sticking point remained. I was in this room, talking about personalities and work styles etcetera etcetera, and people kept saying, you guys (people like me) have reflective personalities. You’re fake, because you only reflect back the personality of the person that you’re interacting with.
I’M SORRY, MA’AM?!
Ok, there is some truth to the fact that there are people who can mold themselves to an appropriate shape when speaking with different people:
You know how you sometimes realize you’re saying something… and It’s like Karaoke- “In the style of …” … “Your Ex Boyfriend.” Like, where did I pick up that laugh? Why do I turn that phrase that way? Who taught me to mispronounce UMbrella and TEE-v (this is still up for debate)? Why, when I see someone offend someone else, do I sound like a whole Haitian family? “OH!”
It’s nice to have some things that are my own- touchdown arms and the praise hand in response to #wins in the twitter-sphere or the dance floor.
I posit though, that the ticks I pick up, and the different parts of myself I show different people are all legitimate parts of me. It’s all just so many necessary paradigm shifts to keep from making societal waves. And I maintain that it’s not a bad thing to want to fit well into the world.
It does make it so that it is rare though, that anyone sees all of me. It takes a special person, but when you find them, the conversation is like letting out a huge sigh. Hey, you’re neurotically comedic? AND reluctantly intellectual? AND refreshingly inane? AND helplessly emotional? Let’s relax into each other – you seem to feel as awkward about life as I do.
Shouts to the besties. It’s not an easy role to fill, and I always look forward to letting my hair down with you 🙂