Hello world. I am single. There’s lots of awesome things that come with that- and some not so awesome things. One thing is for sure though: single time is definitely ripe for reminiscing. Walk down memory lane with me, as I recount the good, the bad, and the weird dudes I’ve attached myself to:
The one who has a choice between you in his bed, and his sis in his bed. And chooses his sis. Yes, really.
The one that looks so good on paper but won’t make time for you in real life.
The one who’s mom is involved in your relationship as much as he is (more so, even).
The one who cheats on you and gets mad you don’t want to be friends after.
The young one.
The other young one.
The other … dammit when are you going to learn they are too young?!
The one who chases and chases you and becomes a DICK as soon you relent.
The one who doesn’t support your dreams.
The one you can’t forget.
The one who thinks he’s the one you can’t forget.
The gay one you still might kind of marry. Shrug.
The sweetie pie you didn’t appreciate.
The too obsessed with being cool one.
The one who’s friends kept (keep) propositioning you on the sly.
The one deathly afraid of intimacy.
The one who makes you question your feminism cuz that dude won’t stop crying and you’re not as cool with it as you thought you would be.
… Lord, the body.
The nice one who dropped off the face of the earth only to surface in a public place and give you a heart attack like you’d seen a ghost.
The one who’s confused by your simultaneous interest in evolutionary psychology and terrible rap music.
The one you put so much effort into improving … for someone else’s benefit.
The next one!